Father’s Day thoughts from behind bars

Every Father’s Day, when I’m treated royally by kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, my mind goes to those grandpas, dads and sons who are behind bars. For them, there’s no frivolity, no celebration today. 

Some years ago, in honor of Father’s Day, the CAN-DO Foundation collected a series of quotes, reflections, stories and insights from numerous men inside prison who will not participate in the normal festivities that most of us will enjoy today. I share a few. 

Craig: “Fourteen years before my arrest, I realized an instinct I never considered when I looked into the eyes of a seven-pound newborn, not much bigger than a loaf of bread. She reached out to me for everything, and it was my honor to deliver. Following my arrest, I failed to show for the graduation ceremony, the Father/Daughter Dance, and to mean-mug the first date.” 

Michael: “I was so certain that I was going to receive clemency that I gave away all my art supplies and brushes. My father was very ill with pancreatic cancer but he, too, was certain I was going to come home and was hanging on to see me. Then my father began to fade and give up hope. Receiving the news that he had passed is something I’m still struggling with. It’s hard to believe I will never have a chance to look into his eyes and tell him, ‘I love you.’” 

Robert: "Father's Day is a rough one for me, being that my dad is no longer here. Losing him during this incarceration was and still is, by far, the hardest ordeal I’ve had to deal with and endure. When I think of Father's Day, I think of that one person who defines the difference between a boy and a man. My dad taught me to accept responsibility, to not make excuses but to make things happen. He taught me to always strive to be the best at what I seek to achieve. He taught me that any boy can make a child but it takes a man to raise a child and to provide for his family.” 

Luke: "To be able to return to my daughter, Jasmine, as a free man, is the sole focus and purpose of my life; this is why I continue to plan and work every day to achieve this goal." 

Corvain: “Even though we’re not together on this special day, you will always be with me each and every minute in my heart. I kiss your photos before I go to bed every night and pray for your safety and well-being. Eat something delicious and think of me and I bet I will be able to taste it!” 

Darryl :  “I'm very happy to be a father and a grandfather, just not from this perspective; but I've always told myself and other guys that it’s OUR responsibility to keep in touch with OUR children, it’s not their responsibility. I love my children and will continue to be the best Father I can be, even from behind these walls. There is nothing like having a father-child relationship. There is nothing like family!” 

On this Father's Day, we honor their struggles and stand in solidarity with their families. The fight for criminal justice reform continues, aiming to reunite fathers with their children and restore their roles within their families. 

Today, please remember these men of all ages spending Father’s Day behind bars. 

“A father doesn’t tell you that he loves you. He shows you.”

—Dimitri the Stoneheart