When your name becomes just a number
I first met Jim Samuels in the early 2000s. He was a highly respected defense attorney with an office in Big Rapids, Michigan. I had just started a fledgling organization called INNOCENT (later to become HUMANITY FOR PRISONERS), with an office in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Together, we were attending a national Innocence Network conference in another state.
Upon learning that we were from the same general area, and that we had similar feelings and intentions regarding incarceration and wrongful conviction, a friendship developed. Over the years, Jim became more than a friend…he was a supporter, an encourager.
One of the unusual characteristics of Jim Samuels is that he’s not only a lawyer…he’s also an actor and a writer! And so, when he represents people accused of crimes, he not only sees their story from a legal perspective. The artist side of him gives him an incredible sensitivity to their needs, feelings and emotions!
Jim and I are hoping to collaborate in the creation of a new book. But for now, I’d like to share a piece that he wrote about a young lad facing his first foray into the state prison system.
A Number Now
By Jim Samuels
The time between knowing that you’re going
And the time you actually go,
Is difficult. Hard.
Not knowing what to
expect when you get there,
The imagination takes
frightening roads
That all end with unimaginable
anxiety.
Will I be beaten?
Raped? Shanked?
Will I find a
protector, or a tormentor instead?
Can I trust
anyone? Do I take the endless advice
Poured on me when I
first get there?
Maybe I should keep my
own counsel
keep to myself
Or will that be off
putting and insulting
To those who surround
me day in and day out?
When I arrive at the
Intake Unit
I can barely breathe
The deputy who drove me
here
Told me that I would
feel this way for quite a while
“Good luck getting used
to it” as he took his handcuffs
off of me to be
immediately replaced
by prison restraints.
A grumpy looking prison
guard
Looked over the
paperwork sent by the court.
“This is the last time
I’ll call you by name
You are a number now.
Get used to it.”
Sitting alone in the
quarantine cell
Depression joined
anxiety as my emotion companions
And it hit me hard that
I needed to brood my prison self into being.
Pray for this young man, and the thousands of men and women in similar situations. They are not just a number.
"Remember
those who are in prison, as though in prison with them…”
Hebrews
13:3
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