Valentine's Day wishes to a special group!

On this Valentine’s day, instead of the traditional “Roses are red, violets are blue,” message, try this one on for size: 

I may not get to see you as often as I like,

I may not get to hold you in my arms all the night.

But deep in my heart, I truly know

You’re the one that I love, and I can’t let go. 

Valentine’s Day is much like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day when it comes to happiness vs. pain. These special days were created to show kindness, love and respect to special people in our lives. But, on Mother’s Day, for example, there’s pain for that woman who would love to be a mother but can’t. On Father’s Day, for example, there’s pain in the home where a father was tragically killed in a recent accident. 

Yes, there’s pain on this Valentine’s Day for those who have lost a spouse, for those whose marriage didn’t survive, and for those who never found the right partner. But, I submit that no human emotions are as complex as those experienced today by those whose partner is in prison. 

The words that I quoted above were penned on a note from a prisoner’s loved one. 

The first struggle for these special women and men is to keep the relationship together. Persons behind bars have far too much time to think, worry and fret. It’s very easy for them to become suspicious, or jealous, or just plain angry. The partner on the outside faces the daunting task of just trying to keep things on an even keel. Support groups are helpful, but the challenges are immense. 

Communication is a huge problem. Visits are limited, phone calls are limited, letters are censored, and e-mail messages are so easily misinterpreted or too quickly sent without much aforethought. 

The next struggle for the person who has a loved one behind bars is dealing with his or her own friends. Those persons who wonder why you couldn’t just find somebody on the outside with like interests, desire and perhaps color. Those persons who think you’re crazy for holding onto fantasies that have little chance of working in real life. 

And so, today, unconditional love from me to my many, many friends who have incarcerated loved ones. You have my love, my respect, my best wishes. Blessings on your future with your Valentine! 

“Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys.” – Nicholas Sparks



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